Life and death in Limerick Milk Market

Limerick Milk Market on a Saturday is a place to be. A lovely mixture of a traditional market space surrounded by small shops but covered by a jauntily angled awning that embraces the old with the new. The buzz, the smells, the chatter and the flow of life swirl around the tented space protecting the traditional market.

So it was a strange to find, at the back of the bar area a message of a quite different type. Wheeled in on a trailer was a display that asked starkly "what do you want to do before you die?" Not only did it ask the question but it also invited replies that could be chalked up on a huge board. The atmosphere around those who were writing was oddly up-beat. There were smiles, suggestions and thoughtfulness stirred into the emotional mix of the crowd at the blackboards.

What would you write? What do you want to do before you die? We only live for 700,000 or so hours- how do you want to spend them? In the rush of life, the pressures and the problems, we can easily lose sight of what is of lasting value. Sometimes just keeping going can take all of our attention and the deeper questions get trodden underfoot as we struggle to keep up with life. Have a glance at what people wrote in the Milk Market and see if it helps you to answer that question for yourself.

As well as the desire to travel, to tell an original joke, meet George Clooney and ride an elephant there are others that catch the eye: I want to slow down, I want to watch my children grow, to flourish as an artist, make others happy, build my own house and engage the world with meaning. Others wanted to kiss Brad Pitt, own a Maserati, swim in the Shannon River and to have their 15 minutes of fame. This range of desires is interesting because nowhere does it include working harder, earning more money but it does include hidden dreams, a fascination with celebrity and a desire to escape the pressures tasks and timetables of life.

Studies have shown that when a person has reached a basic level of income his or her sense of well-being does not improve- they do not increase in  happiness as money increases beyond their basic needs. Yet we are surrounded by a media that keeps telling us the opposite: that owning and earning more leads to greater freedom and happiness- "because we're worth it" as one cosmetic advert describes it. In fact ownership usually leads to anxiety and promotes envy in others. This applies to popularity and power as much as to money as any parent will confirm as they watch their children working out who is in charge and who is the favourite.

Our tendency to compete for possessions both material and relational is the source of unhappiness (perhaps original sin) and what we see on the blackboard is a snapshot of our condition as human beings- wanting to grasp happiness, to choose life, but instead being sidetracked into scoring points and seeking attention in a world that can seem very superficial. 

What sets us free from this endless cycle of earning and owning is a deeper sense of soul. Don Bosco spoke often about saving souls from moral dangers.  In our times consumerism  is actually consuming our souls. It provides the agenda, sets the competition and hands out the prizes making winners and losers of us all. But underneath all this activity and noise is the soul: that unique part of a person that endures. The soul stores a person story, it has the potential to give meaning and shape to life, it is the source of mystery that beats in the pulse and is the place where, in the end, we are most creative and alive. Above all it is the privileged place where we will establish a relationship with God.

So perhaps the question on the board could have asked "how healthy is your soul?" That question has to bring us all to our knees because it is the one thing we need to do if we are to live well. The Catechism reminds us that our first obligation as Christians is the saving of our souls. So are you looking after your soul today, this week, this year?  Are your deepest desires, the intuitions and rhythms of life being heard above the noise of life's slot machine culture? If your deafened soul is not in the driving seat for your life journey someone else is running your life. To re-claim your soul is the purpose of your life and as you pursue that purpose you will find that happiness is a by-product of  that search for your prodigal soul.

But don't wait too long to claim your soul back from this culture- you have 700,000 hours to spend and by the age of  30 you have already used up 37% of your life. Do some soul-searching soon!

PS I should also add that the blackboards were in place to promote a project of the Irish Hospice Foundation. You can visit their site for more background.

MEANING.

Meaning is first of all an experience that might fleetingly be caught in words. It is a kind of hidden knowledge that, like love, cannot creep fully into language. It is energising, fascinating and elusive. Symbols and stories are the best way to access the broad sweep of meaning at an individual and at a group level.

Christians see meaning as an event, an experience and also a relationship that helps to make sense of life. The big Christian story is that cross leads to resurrection and to the outpouring of a new spirit. This pattern of dying, rising and inspiring is a way to make sense of all experience but it also does something more- it puts us all in relationship with whatever that meaning is. Living in that flow of dying,rising and inspiring becomes a way to live in relationship with the mystery of life- it makes everything personal- human.

Jesus looked at the mystery of his life and it's meaning and he called it Father. It is where he came from and the one to whom he would return. Therefore the question of meaning for Christians is personal, relational, emotional and energising. It is a faith in a person and a faith that seeks understanding.

Much of the ramifications of the Christian religion are an attempt to express this mystery and many of those ramifications are now old, tired or meaningless in this culture. However the core event- the life of Jesus- continues to give a personal and public meaning to life which young people need to have access to. One of the tasks of Salesian spirituality is to help young people find meaning and purpose and to offer them an experience of Christian meaning as a starting point for their journey

The science behind Don Bosco

For some years I have been following the research into healthy minds and what makes people flourish. Reading cutting edge research has led me to look forward to deeper understanding and also back to the wisdom of the salesian way of working. This has given me an even deeper confidence in the christian humanism of Don Bosco in his work with others. Here are a few things I have learnt.

Recent research has shown that we have a strong emergency network in our brains that reacts instantly to threats. The more this is activated the more likely we are to see threats. This fear based system shuts down the work of other parts of the brain and leaves us vulnerable to anger and depression. It can lead us to distrust others and in so doing impair relationships. This damaging dominance of fear was something Don Bosco recognised in what he called the repressive system with its focus on blame and punishments. His system was based instead on loving kindness, the love that casts out fear. Working with young people by consciously reducing fear therefore seems to make changes in brain structure that helps people flourish- It brings young people to life.

Other studies in genetics have explore the way that some young people develop differently even though their genetic make-up is almost identical. Researchers wanted to know why people could grow up with such different gifts. Their remarkable conclusion was that the nurture they received, particularly early on, 'switched on' more genes and led to a healthier lifestyle and an extended range of giftedness. Even though the genetic profile may be similar nurture, warmth, compassion and kindness make strongly positive genetic changes in people.Further study suggests that genes that are switched off  might be passed on to future generations through their dna for up to six generations.Is this the science behind the kindness at the heart of Don Bosco's work?

Psychologists are motivated by these findings because it means that neither our genes nor our experiences can determine our lives. It is up to us as individuals and as groups to make good choices and there is nothing inevitable about how our lives unfold. This basic freedom, uncovered by psychology underlines the importance that Don Bosco based on freedom. He kept the rules to a minimum and wanted young people to choose within the safe boundaries of the oratory. Rather than rigidity in discipline he preferred the friendly presence of good adults where boundaries could be pushed and explored safely.

One of the worrying trends among young people today is the increase in stress and depression. Studies of well adjusted people seem to suggest that the ability to 'contain' sadness and loss and 'amplify' the experience of goodness and joy is a critical factor in maintaining a healthy and resilient mind. To be resilient, the researchers report, there need to be three positive experiences or moods to every negative experience or mood. Between partners in marriage the ration needs to be 5:1 for a marriage to flourish. The ability to focus on the good, to give it space in the mind, leads to an increased energy to deal with the inevitable negatives life brings. Don Bosco took this approach to work with young people. he refused to write them off, poured encouragement into their minds and hearts and modelled positive living through generous praise. Optimism is not therefore naive but a powerful tool in opening up hearts and minds to the fullness of life.

There is no easy formula for fullness of life but psychologists have an intuition that such a formula would include three things:

More important, science has found that genuine changes in happiness only come about when three things come together: lots of positive emotions and laughter, being fully engaged in our lives, and finding a sense of meaning that is broader than our day-to-day life. (Rainy Brain Sunny Brain, Elaine Fox, Heinaman 2012)


It seems to me that these three things are not far away from Don Bosco's own formula of reason, religion and loving kindness. Don Bosco was a deeply human christian, intuitive and creative in his work and able to engage with the heart. His whole approach seems to be blessed by God and recently by hard-headed science. Perhaps we should be more confident in promoting and celebrating this spirituality in our world.

shuffling into the new and letting go of the old

It is difficult to say goodbye, especially to the volunteer team that recently ended their year of service last week at Savio House. They were a team that was rich in energy and in commitment to work with young people. But above all they were honest and real and they drew the best out of a community of older religious. They were also ready to finish a tough year. We took balloons up the hill and released them to signify the letting go of another year. Releasing the balloons was significant but it was also easy. Letting go is not so easy in practice because we establish ties that tangle us together. Some of those ties need to be held on to and others released and it s not always possible to discover which is which.

I too am moving on at the end of this year and that will include hanging on to somethings and  some people and letting other things and other people go. How do I choose?  In some ways this just happens, people move alongside you and then move like cards shuffled in a pack. Some people are suited to me and we get on well, some are of a different suit and some seem to have a higher or lower value than I do.  This regular shuffling is a challenge to change and at the same time a liberation. Without this shuffling the game of life would become predictable and stale.

The closeness we feel to others is for better or worse a sacred space for unspoken learning. When those who were close move away the lesson is over and yet the awareness created by each relationship remains. For better or worse I carry something of their spiritual dna. I am spiral bound into their lives and in that sense I can never let them go because they are part of me and I of them. When I think of Sheffield now it will always be coloured by the personality of two of last years volunteers. When I play certain hymns it will awaken a moment or a mood that reminds me of what he have shared.

 Such memories of past links and shared experiences are gifts that keep on giving. They cannot and should not be let go of and released because they are the ties of love and affection that bind us into what the church calls the communion of saints. In the end they are in loving kindness all that will endure. These ties therefore extend beyond life as we know it into an eternal belonging in the relationships of  Father Son and Spirit.

A popular song has these lines "How heavy the empty heart how light the heart that's full"  It is a reminder that we cannot empty our hearts and move on but rather fill our hearts with what is good from the past as we move on and carry it all as a memory that brings lightness and warmth into a new beginning,

Youth Ministry and the Epiphany

Four Gifts that make youth ministry an Epiphany

The title “Called to a noble adventure” comes from John Paul IIs words and they form the theme of the conference and the title of the vision statement for youth ministry in England and Wales.

Pope John Paul II invited young people to a noble and authentic adventure when speaking about the need for a church that is for young people[i]. A church that would challenge young people but only after it had given much to them. A church that would be built around a joyful Gospel and an experience of Eucharist that was understood as bigger than the mass.

The story of the wise men from today’s Gospel describes a noble adventure undertaken in hope through following a star that most other people had seen and yet not recognised. These wise men had woken up, they had “read the signs of the times” and they were looking for God’s a new experience of God in a new and a young life.

I want to suggest to you today that your star is already up and shining. Your star is calling you to a noble and an authentic adventure and into the presence of God hidden in the lives of the young. It is easy to lose sight of that star because it is different from the many other stars in the sky. It is not always the brightest or the most colourful. Nor is it the star that many other people choose to follow. But it exerts a pull on you, deep down. For some that pull is felt as curiosity about what life is about, for some it is the pull of relationships and belonging, for others it is the urge to change the world and for many it is the tug of a presence that never leaves us.

The experience of being pulled out of ourselves into action and into relationship is an experience of God. This is the God whose mystery links the family history I carry with the pattern of relationships I desire. It is the link between the sweep of evolution and the need for justice and peace. It links our inner world with the outer world and makes all people brothers and sisters in a communion of belonging that becomes eternal. This shy and profound presence, touched in relationships and experienced in silence, is the big story that young people need to experience before it is ever preached. In our work with young people this is the reality that we are opening up rather than explaining.

The vision document “Called to a Noble Adventure” offer us the tools to help young people find their star and with it an authentic experience of God. It is a gift to youth ministers in England and Wales that can be unpacked in many ways. I would like to introduce you to one way you can unpack this gift today by looking at the four goals it outlines for us as ministers to young adults.

The first gift and goal is an appreciation of the unique personal path to meaning that each young person must walk. On that personal path there will be experience, wisdom and gifts that often emerge from the pattern of love already embedded in life and from the patterns of the absence of love that make up each personal and unique story. The gift is an awareness in the youth minister, if not in the young person, that God is already present in the events of their unique authentic experience. That awareness leads the youth minister to take off their shoes because they are standing on the holy ground of God’s presence within the lives of the young. The youth minister’s role on the personal journey of a young person is to accompany and connect one unique journey with the lives of others without manipulation, without pressure and with great respect for the way that God may be working in their lives. Accompanying young people needs us to be in touch with where we are on our own authentic journey because if we are not sensitive to God’s presence in our own lives how can we sense the Spirit of God moving in the experiences of young people. That is why youth ministers need to have the awareness of mystics as well as the words that open up relationships.

The second gift is the Gospel – the good news of Jesus- lived with joy. Both of those words are important: lived and joy. You can be good news for others if you are not authentic- living what you believe- you will just be a hypocrite. Neither can you be good news if you constantly give way to sadness, pessimism, fear or anxiety. You may well struggle with all of those things and the struggle becomes good news for others because you keep going. Both your gifts and your weaknesses can serve the Gospel of joy because they remind you that you are incomplete, that you need others and above all your life depends more and more on God in order to make any sense. The story of Jesus, his struggle with meaning, with religion, with hypocrisy reveals a deep pattern in experience that leads to life. Struggle leads to inner strength and cross leads to resurrection when one is faithful to the spirit within us that calls out Abba Father. The pattern of Jesus’ life reveals the way that God is at work in all lives. The Gospel is the second gift.

The third gift is community. We have a personal and authentic journey, we have a Gospel map to guide our personal choices but the third gift is the pattern of relationships that surround the journey and the map. The Church, for all its faults, is the community that surrounds our personal Gospel journey with friendship, guidance and prayer. The church is a network of relationships and not a building. It is not simply parishes and dioceses. They are the visible aspects of church that, like an iceberg, conceal a deep sense of searching and a hunger for meaning in the culture. The church can emerge when the conversation in the pub changes and people share their hopes and fears. The church emerges when a communal tragedy draws us together in mutual grief and questioning. The church emerges when those in need are supported and those who serve are celebrated. Each retreat centre is a church, each small group becomes a sacred space where God’s presence is touched. It is within the pattern of relationships that God’s love is experienced, God’s wisdom shared and in that pattern of relationships that we are accepted and forgiven for the mistakes on out journey.

The fourth gift is simply a job. The job is to give people an impression of God’s love. To hear God speaking in the cry of the poor. (To build a better world) To sense God’s presence in the giftedness of young people and call those gifts to life. (To guide) To defend the rights of young people where they are threatened especially within the church. (To Advocate) To open up your experience as a support to others. (To witness) To celebrate life and build deeper relationships. (Community building)  To build up the church as a place of welcome and hospitality for all through letting young people know that they are loved, especially the young and the poor.

These are the four gifts that the noble adventure offers to you. Use them wisely and well and they will become an epiphany; a revelation of God’s presence among us. On this feast of the Epiphany then let’s commit ourselves to open up this gift of a youth vision in 2014. May it bring us joy, stamina, deeper friendships and above all, a sense of the abiding presence of God in all of life.

Swanwick January 5^th 2013

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[i] World day of prayer for vocations 1995

a new year meditation

A new year is a pause at the top of a hill. A chance to draw breath and to look back at the way that you have traveled through a year of experience. As you look back at the journey you have made do so with compassion and a gentleness, even for the experiences which still carry a sting or a shiver for your spirit. Let it all be and resist the temptation to analyse. Just look back and say to yourself “that’s what happened” without letting anger or sadness get a foothold because it is already in the past. It is now just experience and it is rich in a wisdom that is deeper than any analysis can reveal. Let it lie and leave every negative in the hands of your God who, in time, will easter it all into new life.

Instead allow your mind’s eye to scan the year for good memories, good people and the ordinary joys of being alive. Let your mind cherry pick your best moments; the conversations that opened up new potential, the stillness of moments of peace, the transfigurations of joy and the meals that have celebrated life. Re-live those life-giving moments that still sparkle on the journey of the last year even with the distance of time. Allow those joys and blessings to rouse up in your mind the gratitude that has made the year of 2013 a gift.

Do not turn too quickly to 2014 but spend some time unwrapping the gift that this passing year has become. Let your heart dwell with these memories and cherish the joys and consolations they contain. Pray that those things that are unfinished may continue to be eastered into new life by the hidden hands of God healing your history.

Open your hands and give the year back to God with gratitude.

Then, put your hand into the hand of God and walk into the adventure of 2014.

Happy new year!

The mess in your life is the manger where Christ is re-born

The first Christmas was a bit of a shambles;

Mary and Joseph were away from home

Accommodation wasn’t arranged

The place they found was makeshift

There were question marks over Mary’s pregnancy

Herod was plotting to kill their child

People kept disturbing their peace- like shepherds and later wise men

They had to become refugees soon after the birth.
It wasn't romantic, hygienic and it probably smelled a lot!

Politics, travel problems, domestic mess, strangers at the door, threats of violence, tiredness, gossip and uncertainty.

God came into a mess- it didn’t put him off and he didn’t miraculously sort it out.

He came to be God-with-us.  Emmanuel in the mess

We are messy creatures and that is how God made us

He knows that we are easily upset, want everything perfect and that we want to be appreciated

He knows that we can sulk and be adolescent at any age.

He knows that Christmas catches us out with tiredness, tensions and high expectations

And God wants to be with us in our fun, in our rest, in our upset and in our arguments this Christmas

Make room for Christ this Christmas in the joys and tensions of a family Christmas.

Take Christ out of your Christmas and all you have left is m and s

Emmanuel- God is with us- as one like us- not far away but in the mess

God is with us as one of us.

He teaches us from the messy manger that we are brothers and sisters

Whether we have a happy or a hellish Christmas God is equally with the sulker and with the saint.
The only difference is that the saint may be more aware of God in the mess.

We belong to each other in a communion of saints- 

a family of saints that extends deep into the mystery of God
who loves us unconditionally.

There is no such thing as a perfect Christmas-

There is always a messy Christmas and in the mess are the stirrings of new life.

The mess in your life is the manger within which your relationship with Jesus is being re-born

I will leave you with Pope Emeritus Benedict’s words on this theme:

Most of us in the world today live far from Jesus Christ, the incarnate God who came to dwell amongst us. We live our lives by philosophies, amid worldly affairs and occupations that totally absorb us and thus are a great distance from the manger. In all kinds of ways, God has to prod us and reach out to us again and again, so that we can manage to escape from the muddle of our thoughts and activities to discover the way that leads to him. God comes to us as man so that we might become truly human. (Benedict 16^th)